Happy New Year!

For those that do not know me, my name is Mark, and I am a Tasmanian born (but not inbred) now Sydney based Comedian. I am the head writer of theunaustralian.net and host of the Comedy On Edge podcast (currently on hiatus).

Below are my predictions and thoughts for what may or may not happen in the year ahead.

The Gen Beta phrase, goo goo gaga dada will be declared the Oxford word of the year.

Following various thought pieces and much discussion, Gen Beta will be cancelled for their inherent misogyny.

As a result, Gen Beta will be offered many shows and guest spots on Sky News Australia.

Peter Dutton will attempt to smile; it will not end well.

The Australian election will be marred in controversy after the release of a Clive Palmer/Gina Rinehart sex tape. The horrific vision will show the two billionaires passionately attempting to f*ck the country.

Working from home will cease to exist, after the average income earning worker is unable to afford a home in any of Australia’s major cities.

As a result ’generous’ bosses will allow workers to live at the office in exchange for labor.

The Nation will hold its breath as we wait to see whether Rachael ‘Raygun’ Gunn will dance with the stars, join the SAS or venture into the jungle. One thing for sure, this former Olympian (sic) is intent on stretching their 15 minutes of fame all the way to the end.

Elon Musk and Donald Trump will star as Ross and Rachael in a Friends reboot. With Elon spending the year screaming that they were on a break after being caught getting cozy with bad boy Vladimir Putin.

The Gen Alpha named horse, Skibidi Toilet, will win the Melbourne Cup.

Alan Jones will be delighted to hear of all the people talking about how much he touched them. The delight will turn to horror when he realizes they are witnesses not testimonials.

Angus Taylor will successfully count to 11 after realizing he can use other appendages besides his fingers and toes to help him count.

Barnaby Joyce will throw himself into Election campaigning, going hard to chase the swinging voters.

Sussan Ley will add another S to her name after unseating Peter Dutton to become Opposition leader.

Sussan Sley will challenge the Albanese Government to ensure numerology is added to the National schools curriculum.

Here’s to a great 2025 and if you like my jokes and are keen to hear more check out @TheUnOz or @MWChatShow.

Cheers

MW