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2025 Predictions

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Happy New Year!

For those that do not know me, my name is Mark, and I am a Tasmanian born (but not inbred) now Sydney based Comedian. I am the head writer of theunaustralian.net and host of the Comedy On Edge podcast (currently on hiatus).

Below are my predictions and thoughts for what may or may not happen in the year ahead.

The Gen Beta phrase, goo goo gaga dada will be declared the Oxford word of the year.

Following various thought pieces and much discussion, Gen Beta will be cancelled for their inherent misogyny.

As a result, Gen Beta will be offered many shows and guest spots on Sky News Australia.

Peter Dutton will attempt to smile; it will not end well.

The Australian election will be marred in controversy after the release of a Clive Palmer/Gina Rinehart sex tape. The horrific vision will show the two billionaires passionately attempting to f*ck the country.

Working from home will cease to exist, after the average income earning worker is unable to afford a home in any of Australia’s major cities.

As a result ’generous’ bosses will allow workers to live at the office in exchange for labor.

The Nation will hold its breath as we wait to see whether Rachael ‘Raygun’ Gunn will dance with the stars, join the SAS or venture into the jungle. One thing for sure, this former Olympian (sic) is intent on stretching their 15 minutes of fame all the way to the end.

Elon Musk and Donald Trump will star as Ross and Rachael in a Friends reboot. With Elon spending the year screaming that they were on a break after being caught getting cozy with bad boy Vladimir Putin.

The Gen Alpha named horse, Skibidi Toilet, will win the Melbourne Cup.

Alan Jones will be delighted to hear of all the people talking about how much he touched them. The delight will turn to horror when he realizes they are witnesses not testimonials.

Angus Taylor will successfully count to 11 after realizing he can use other appendages besides his fingers and toes to help him count.

Barnaby Joyce will throw himself into Election campaigning, going hard to chase the swinging voters.

Sussan Ley will add another S to her name after unseating Peter Dutton to become Opposition leader.

Sussan Sley will challenge the Albanese Government to ensure numerology is added to the National schools curriculum.

Here’s to a great 2025 and if you like my jokes and are keen to hear more check out @TheUnOz or @MWChatShow.

Cheers

MW

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2007

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My first Stand up comedy gig was at the Fringe Bar Paddington in 2004 as part of Raw comedy, I’ll blog about that or what I remember of it at a latter date. Naturally, after doing 2 years or probably about 26 gigs I thought I’ve mastered this so let’s do an hour long festival show at one of the World’s biggest comedy festivals, what could go wrong.

In one of those believe it or not moments, amazingly not much did.

Due to some shrewd business deals and generous mates (thanks Phil) I managed to make a small profit on the run. We’re talking like 10’s of dollars worth of profit. I also got some good reviews and made some great friends.

Everyone should run out and do a festival show!

Though as good as the festival was for me I did make a few mistakes and with hindsight if I could do it all again I would, with a few changes.

Venue wise I got lucky as mine, Club F4, which is still there in Little Collins just under a different name didn’t charge me venue hire. This saved me thousands of dollars. The only condition they had was that the hour show had to have a 10 minute break in the middle to sell drinks.

The venue was a short walk from the Melbourne town hall which was pretty much festival HQ.

I do have the script of my first festival show, not sure if I have footage, I’m pretty happy with most of it. If I were to do it again and who knows maybe one day I will re-perform it for the 10’s and 10’s of MW fans, I would make a few changes.

The show, The MW Oh Show’s Quarter Life Crisis!! (when I started stand up I did so under a stage name The MW Oh Show, yeah this is where wrestling influenced me, I also really liked exclamation marks) was a mixture of story telling and jokes. The first half was about leaving my call centre job and the second half was straight stand up.

If I were to do it again the whole show would be the call centre story as I now know how to weave jokes and story together a lot better than I did then. Bit harsh on myself as the call centre story is funny.

The best part of doing a festival is meeting other comedians and seeing other shows. My show ran 6 nights a week at 8 pm, so I didn’t get to see a heap of shows but I spent pretty much any spare time (when not flyering) at showcase shows or the Festival bar.

Flyering (back then) was pretty much the best way to get people into your show if you didn’t want to spent thousands on advertising. Let’s be honest, as cool as my poster is if you were to see this all over town next to a comedian you have seen on TV you will more than likely go and see the known commodity than the other bloke.

Flyering involved standing outside the town hall trying to engage people into conversation just enough to tell them about your show and hoping that they take a flyer and maybe think about coming to your show.

It could be heartbreaking, especially when you see a flyer with your face on it in the bin (maybe why my second show flyer didn’t have me on it) and awesome when you step on stage that night and see people you flyered at the show.

It was also fun hanging out with other comedians whilst flyering, talking crap and suffering together.

This blog is turning out to be a longer walk down memory road than I had planned so I might leave it here and come back to this when I have more time.

If you have any questions about festivals or putting a show together get in touch am happy to help out.

For those wondering what the critics thought, The Age said: ”He’s a lively, likeable guy with a hint of oh-so-fashionable geek chic.”

The Pun (a comedy newsletter that I think is sadly gone) said:” I laughed out loud, both in disbelief and awe.”

Glowing reviews, well, the genius of grab quotes make them look better than what they were.

See below my flyer, of which I had 5,000 to hand out. Got through about 3,000 of them.

Till next time, oh yeah if you want to experience a little of my festival show my entrance music was Supermassive Black Hole by Muse.

Road Tripping From Campsie To Kempsey

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When I started out in comedy I would take a gig pretty much anywhere, and if there was a hint of money involved then I would go to the ends of the earth, or at least to the end of the train line.

This once led me to believe that I was getting $200 and overnight accommodation to do a gig in Campsie. Turns out Kempsey and Campsie though sound similar on the phone are nowhere near each other.

Was a fun gig but a bloody long drive to get there.

Another gig I got booked to do was in Moss Vale. Now, if you’ve been down the South Coast recently, you’ll know it’s very fancy and quite expensive, especially if you are looking to buy a home.

Though to be fair that’s all of Australia, who wants to own a home when you can make a negatively geared up to their eye balls landlord rich.

Anyway, so back in 2008 Moss Vale I booked a hotel room for the gig as it was a Saturday night, I lashed out and chose to pay a whole $60 for a room……probably about one third of what I was getting for the gig. Decisions like this are why I am not a landlord.

I took the train down and spent the day checking out the Bradman Museum in nearby Bowral and then headed to Moss Vale. At the time there was a really nice pub opposite Moss Vale train station (there still is) and as I got off the train, I thought wow this is going to be a good gig, what a venue. Turns out the gig wasn’t at that hotel it was at one down the hill.

The Central hotel, yep, the one pictured above is now sadly left derelict, however back in 2008 it pretty much didn’t look too different. My thoughts on the potential for the gig changed dramatically.

I walked in to the pub and was greeted by what if it were in the city would be considered a dive bar filled with hipsters. However, as it was in the country it was filled with old men gathered round the in-house TAB and 60 chairs all filled with people drinking cans of Coke Zero.

The chairs were pointed at a mic stand, there was no stage or dressing room.

I chatted to Leon, my mate who ran the gig and who was doing the support spot, I was MC and Garry Who was headlining. All seemed good and as the crowd was there ready and waiting, we decided to kick things off.

Having run rooms over the years and gigged in a lot of varied venues I am not too precious. I can live without a stage, lights and even a mic. But I do need a mic stand. It’s like a safety blanket and also useful as a weapon just in case the gig goes awry.

Leon jumped on stage and gave me a nice introduction, the crowd clapped enthusiastically, and we were off. Now, when MCing there are a few ways to start off a gig. Usually, you settle the crowd, tell them what’s to come and get them laughing and ready for the first act. I was lucky at this one as Leon had mentioned the format and the crowd was pretty settled so I just kicked off with material.

This is where things got weird. Seeing 60 or so people sitting in a dodgy bar drinking Coke Zero was a bit unusual. I was getting laughs for my jokes, but the laughs were in the wrong spot. At this point after about 5 minutes off slightly off reactions I decided to switch it up and talk to the crowd to figure out, if for nothing else why they were all drinking coke zero.

Now, usually when you MC, the room runner or venue manager will tell you if something needs mentioning like there might be birthday, anniversary or a large group all together in the audience.

I knew on this occasion that there was an anniversary in the crowd, so I sought them out. I started chatting and it was revealed that they’d been married 6 years. I asked where they met, and they responded at work. I asked where that was, thinking comedy gold is a coming.

Turns out that they worked together at the local sheltered workshop. Not only that but everyone here tonight was from the local sheltered workshop, and this was their Christmas party. It was October.

With that bit of news, I reworked my act, and we had a great time, and everyone started laughing at all the right places. Leon came on and did great then Garry Who closed the show and smashed it.

After the show I asked Leon why didn’t you tell me it was a sheltered workshop Christmas party, he responded with, didn’t I tell you?

Anyway, a good gig was had, and I kicked back to my $60 a night hotel room to celebrate with a coke zero or two.

The lesson I learnt from this gig was to definitely ask more questions of the venue runner.

Incidentally if anyone wants to book me to come back to Moss Vale happy to do so, but I may now insist on accommodation being included as getting a room for $60 is no longer possible.

To Get In Contact: MWChatshow@yahoo.com or @MWChatshow

Port Arthur

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27 years ago today (April 28) I was at home doing my homework and watching the Footy (Essendon were playing, I think maybe Melbourne), when the commentators spoke of breaking news of a shooting in Port Arthur. From there I remember helicopters flying for the rest of the afternoon around Hobart. Hobart was/is a quiet town you don’t normally see or hear helicopters.

I was due to play water polo that night and had to pick up a team mate on the way as their Dad was a grief counsellor and was heading down to Port Arthur.

As the news unfolded the true extent of the tragedy was revealed. I did not know anyone directly who was killed that day but as anyone from a smaller city knows, you know friends of friends and names ring a bell.

The one good thing to come out of that day is our country’s gun laws, but don’t credit Howard too much for them as prior to Port Arthur he always voted against any form of firearm restrictions.

As for the evil creature who did this (I won’t name them) I remember him as the guy who used to catch my school bus who grew up (physically not mentally) to perpetrate a crime that broke a Nation’s heart.

Take a moment today to reflect, there’s a lot of sadness and evil in the world but also a lot of good.

Battle Of Who Could Care Less: AKA The NSW Election

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In a week’s time the people of NSW will be asked to choose between Chris Minns or Dominic Perrotet. It’s like having to choose between Hepatitis A or B. Throw in the other choice of One Nation, and there’s Hepatitis C.

They say politics is Hollywood for ugly people but this election feels like a bunch of the worst type of people that you ever meet at a party decided that people need to hear more from them.

The list of creeps and freaks that have put their tin foil hat in the ring for a seat in the Upper House is quite staggering. There are more Cookers there than the SMEG* warehouse.

Your vote does matter so please take the time (to borrow a Cooker phrase) to do you own research. Go to a candidate’s forum, check out the ABC’s election guide or ask questions of people handing out how to vote cards.

But most importantly, figure out which booth to vote at to ensure that you get your democracy sausage and a cake from the cake stand.

If you vote at a school, remember that all the money raised at these stalls goes back to the school and, considering the pitiful election debate and promises we’ve had thus far, those schools will definitely need it.

Heck – buy 2 sausages and as many chocolate crackles as you can handle! After all, it’s for a good cause – our kids’** future. Considering the mess the State and the planet are in now, we will definitely need them to solve a few problems.

Happy voting, and please be nice to the people handing out how to vote cards as they are volunteers. Except, of course, the One Nation ones – they are nothing more than bigoted racists.

*This is not a sponsored post, but SMEG, if you’re reading this, I am willing to sell out. **I have no kids, it’s a figure of speech

Guess Who’s Back……Back To Blog

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Hi everybody,

I’m writing this on the first weekday of Sydney’s 2-week lockdown. I will admit straight off the bat that lockdowns do freak me out a bit. They shouldn’t as I have a very supportive employer, a great wife and lovely home with plenty of food and stuff in it to distract me. But honestly for the last year or so the whole Covid thing has just felt like a weight on my shoulders. Yes, I know so many more people have it a lot worse than I do but hey that’s just the feeling I have.

Why am I writing this? Well, I’ve gotten a bit lazy lately with writing, so this blog/unleashing of thoughts is a way to try, and kick start my writing. At the moment it feels like I am forcing myself to write, hopefully after a few posts I will get a bit more flow into it.

If you are reading this thank you, you don’t have to, but it is appreciated.

I admit with this lockdown I’m struggling not to get too mad about it. It’s so easy to go online and tweet at the peeps who I feel have stuffed this up (Hi ScoMo, what que are we at the front of? It’s clearly not one for vaccine, eh) but I’ll try to stay away from that.

My iso hobby last year was golf…. I’ve kept up with it and am supposed to play today…. looking out the window and seeing all the rain I don’t think this is going to happen. Ah, well will just have to go and attack the huge stack of books I’ve accumulated over the last year.

Hopefully, this blog will be a regular thing and with a bit more substance than this one. So, I will leave you now but before I go, I’ll list what I’m reading, watching, and listening to. Feel free to share what you’re getting up to as I’m always keen for more suggestions of stuff to do.

Listening to Garbage……the band. Damn, they are good.

Watching: Trying to watch new stuff rather than fall back into my safety shows of American Pickers, Pawn Stars and The Big Bang Theory. To be fair they are always on the tele when I turn it on, and they are comforting shows. If you have a tip on what I should watch am happy to listen.

Reading: How Good Is Scott Morrison? A look at Morrison’s handling of the last year…. not bad so far…almost done.

Have a great day/night

MW

PS if you want to see where my anger has gone check out theunaustralian.net.

Morrison Promises To Punish Julia Banks Following Release Of Royal Commission Into Banks Report

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Interim Prime Minister Scott Morrison has promised to throw the book at rogue MP Julia Banks following the damning release of the Royal Commission’s report into Banks and the finance industry.

“I’ve read the report and I think we can all agree that it’s time for Banks to be punished,” said Prime Minister Scott Morrison. “I mean who does Julia think she is turning her back on the party and then going on some sort of Greg Hunt.”

“Not on my watch, my Government will come down hard on Banks.”

When asked what he would do to the banking and finance industry of which the Royal Commission was called to investigate, the Prime Minister replied: “I’ll read the report and you know if anything bad has occurred which I doubt it has as banks tend to be good blokes then I’ll bring out some discipline.”

“I’m not averse to flogging someone with the warmest of lettuce.”

Mark Williamson 

www.twitter.com/MWChatShow

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Hi Everybody

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This is my new website am currently in the middle of adding stuff to it.

By stuff I mean, my podcast, some of my writing and maybe some pictures of ponies*

Stay tuned and hopefully it will get done shortly.

In the mean time if you want to contact me, for a chat or to offer me work or money can do via twitter @MWOh44 or email comedyonedge@yahoo.com

Have a great day.

*There will be no pictures of ponies